The Weakest Link
by Japs
Summary: OK, so it's been done before. But this is a very old fic of mine that I only just found. It also co-stars me! Enjoy and review!


1.1 You are the Weakest Link Story by Japs  
  
1.2 "Hello and welcome to the weakest Link."  
  
1.3 "Me?"  
  
1.4 "No, Link. I'm announcing the show."  
  
1.5 The audience silenced as the contestants walked to their stands. Each looking different, they stood next to one another. The show's host carried on.  
  
1.6 "I am your host, Japs. We have a new team of contestants today. Lets see what a pathetic amount of money they can get. The contestants today are: Mario Mario from the Mushroom Kingdom, Link of the Kokiri from the Kokiri forest, Ash Ketchum from Pallet, Samus Aran from-" Japs was interrupted by a clicking noise.  
  
1.7 "I told you that this information was confidential." Samus said, pointing her gun at Japs' head.  
  
1.8 "Ehh heh heh" Japs started again, sweating. "I knew that... Samus Aran from somewhere-that-if-I-say-I-lose-my-brains, Donkey Kong from Kong Island"  
  
1.9 "Uh?" DK grumbled. He wasn't used to having his name called out.  
  
1.10 "Never mind, Monkey Guts." Japs whispered back. "Son Goku from Earth, and our last contestant is Yoshi from Yoshi's island."  
  
1.11 Music played when Yoshi's name was called out. Japs looked annoyed at this, but carried on.  
  
1.12 "The first game is for two- oh...uh... What currency are we using?" Japs said, talking to a guy off-stage.  
  
1.13 "Uh Gold" The camera Lakitu replied  
  
1.14 "Sheesh! Where'd we get that?"  
  
1.15 "The profits from Dark Galaxy"  
  
1.16 "YOU RAIDED MY SITE MONEY?"  
  
1.17 "Well...kinda"  
  
1.18 Japs wasn't too happy with the idea.  
  
1.19 "This first game is for a maximum of 10 gold pieces of my money. We will start with alphabetical order so Ash, you're first"  
  
1.20 "PIKA"  
  
1.21 "What was that?"  
  
1.22 Ash pushed his unusually plump stomach down a little. Japs glared.  
  
1.23 "I...I sneezed" Ash said, sweating  
  
1.24 "Take out-a that stupid Pikachu out a your jacket, Ketchum!" Mario shouted at Ash. Ash lifted the yellow rodent out of his blue jacket. He passed it to Misty, who was in the audience.  
  
1.25 "How many interruptions..." Japs moaned. "Ash you go first. Lets play the Weakest Link"  
  
1.26 "Me?"  
  
1.27 The theme music played. Japs turned to Ash.  
  
1.28 "Ash, Which game did Mario first appear in?"  
  
1.29 "Super Mario Bros." Ash answered  
  
1.30 "Donkey Kong" Japs said, Correcting Ash  
  
1.31 "Ugh?" The monkey said, scratching his head. Japs sighed  
  
1.32 "The answer was Donkey Kong. I isn't your turn yet!"  
  
1.33 "But you said it was in alphabetical Order" Yoshi shouted  
  
1.34 "Yes, its Donkey Kong's turn now but it was the answer to Ash's question!" Japs argued  
  
1.35 "So Mario appeared in Donkey Kong?" Ash asked  
  
1.36 "Ugh?" DK answered back  
  
"DONKEY KONG" Japs stressed his words. "Your question. What was the name of Links first Adventure?"  
  
"Me?" Link asked.  
  
"Ugh...Him?" DK asked Japs.  
  
"It was The Legend of Zelda. Goku."  
  
"Hmph?"  
  
Goku wasn't standing at his desk. He, instead, had his head shoved into the fridge off stage.  
  
"MY LUNCH! GET BACK TO YOUR DESK YOU STUPID NO-GOOD SAIYAN!"  
  
Goku walked back with a pile of food in his hands. Still eating, he stood at the desk.  
  
"Goku, Where did the Pokémon villains Team Rocket get their names from?"  
  
"Uh..." Goku said, thinking. He had paused his eating spree. " Miyamoto's friends?"  
  
"It may be a good answer but its wrong. They both got their names from the famous Wild West Outlaw, Jessie James. Link."  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yes, you. What extra figure came with your box set that you couldn't buy separate?"  
  
"Uh... Navi?"  
  
"Wrong. It was Zelda. Mario, which characters on Smash Brothers made their most popular N64 debuts and hadn't any games planed?"  
  
"Uh...it was Ness and Kirby"  
  
"Wrong. It was Jigglypuff and Samus. Both Kirby and Ness had games planned for the N64. Samus, which N64 game featured Rex?"  
  
"Uh... Perfect Dark?"  
  
"Wrong, it was Toy story. I would have accepted both TS1 and TS2. Yoshi-"  
  
The music played again.  
  
"What's with the music?"  
  
"It's my theme tune. That's 1 gold piece!" Yoshi said smugly.  
  
"That wasn't your question, melon breath."  
  
"It was A question"  
  
"QUIET DINO-BOY! I KIIU!" Japs shouted  
  
"Kiiu?"  
  
"Quiet, Mortal! Here's your question: Which game was the crudest to come onto the N64?"  
  
"I think that was Clay Fighter 63 2/3"  
  
"Nope. It was your game."  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"-And that's the end of that round." Japs interrupted Yoshi. "You got none of my money. Now its time for you to sort the Pokémon from the Digimon, the Mario's from the Sonic's. Its time for you to vote off The Weakest Link"  
  
"Me?"  
  
The seconds passed. Everyone wrote names on their pieces of card.  
  
"Aaanndd time up. Lets see who you thought was the weakest Link.  
  
"Me?"  
  
The Lakitu went round the contestants with his camera, this time in the order they came in.  
  
"DK" Mario said, showing his card.  
  
"Goku" Link said, doing the same.  
  
"DK" Ash said  
  
"Yoshi" Samus yawned.  
  
"Banana" DK struggled. He had drawn a very sketchy picture of a Banana on his card.  
  
"I could go for a banana" Goku said  
  
"Japs" Yoshi said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Ok" Japs muttered, glaring at the green dino. "We ain't counting the last three votes Mario, why Donkey Kong?"  
  
"He smells" Mario replied.  
  
"Good enough. Link, why Goku?"  
  
"He wouldn't give me any of that cake." Link said, glaring at the Saiyan. Goku pulled his food collection towards himself and glared back.  
  
"Well it seems we have a loser. Yoshi, you are the Weakest Link, goodbye!"  
  
"Me?" Link asked again.  
  
"Ugh?" DK moaned.  
  
"WHAT?" Yoshi shouted in anger. "THE MONKEY GOT MORE VOTES! IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT EVIL MOTHER OVER THERE, I WOULNT HAVE ANY!"  
  
Samus stared at Yoshi. She moved her hand down to her waist. Yoshi stormed off. Japs turned to Samus.  
  
"Dispose of him."  
  
Samus nodded and walked off. Japs smiled and carried on.  
  
"Round two. Were still playing for the same amount of gold." Japs stopped for a second. There was a loud bang.  
  
"And for helping me, Samus goes first."  
  
Samus walked back onto the stage  
  
"Lets play the weakest Link."  
  
"Me?"  
  
Somehow Link always got his line in before the theme.  
  
"Samus: How many hits do the classic Nintendo bosses take to defeat?"  
  
"One hit if it's with me, baby"  
  
For some reason, Japs missed the fact that Aran was coming onto him.  
  
"Incorrect. The answer is three."  
  
Samus turned away from Japs.  
  
"Donkey Kong, how many ones are in one?"  
  
"BANANA!"  
  
Donkey Kong hadn't got rid of the thought of Banana's.  
  
"Wrong. The correct answer is one. Dense."  
  
DK was now scanning Goku's mountain of food for a banana.  
  
"Goku, what is Princess Peach's name in Japan?"  
  
"Uh...Queen?"  
  
"Nope. The answer was Princess Daisy. Mario, What was the first game on the Game Boy?"  
  
"I think it was my game, Super Mario Land."  
  
"It was actually Tetris. Link."  
  
"Me?"  
  
"No, Kokiri, I meant Donkey Kong." Japs said sarcastically  
  
"GGUUHH! DK WAN BANANA!"  
  
Donkey Kong dived at Japs  
  
"GET OF ME, BABOON FEATURES!" Japs shouted, annoyed.  
  
"BBAAANNNAAANNAAA! YOU BANANA! ME EAT!"  
  
"HELP! I WANT MY MOMMY!" Japs cried. Samus walked up to him.  
  
"Samus! Samus thank goodness! Help me!"  
  
Samus was still annoyed at Japs  
  
"YOU RETARD!" Samus shouted, and charged up her gun.  
  
"I haven't had much to say in this program, I'm going home!" Ash said. He stormed off.  
  
Japs was now held down by DK and has Samus' gun pointed at his head.  
  
"Why are you so angry?" Japs asked Samus, sweating.  
  
"You don't take many hints, do you?" Samus said.  
  
Mario, Link Ash and Goku had left. They were outside and talking to eachother.  
  
"So...Mario...got any games on the way?" Link started, trying to start a conversation.  
  
Mario was about to answer when he heard something. Japs came flying through the TV Studio's roof. He landed in the trashcan, fried from Samus' blast. Yoshi walked round the corner and smiled evilly. Yoshi himself was rather burnt.  
  
"RAID JAPS' STUDIOS!" Yoshi shouted. The gang ran in, laughing evilly. Lakitu flew down and filmed Japs' legs sticking out the trash can.  
  
"I am the weakest link..." Japs said, voice echoing through the can.  
  
"...Goodbye" 


End file.
